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<title>Coffin Cramps by AnElvenCatNamedJuice (HollowLies)</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24071782">Coffin Cramps</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/HollowLies/pseuds/AnElvenCatNamedJuice'>AnElvenCatNamedJuice (HollowLies)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - No Voldemort, Crack, Crack Fic, Fake Character Death, Harry Potter is a Little Shit, Harry is a Little Shit, I really want lemonade, M/M, Prompt Fic, Sane Tom Riddle, Sorry it’s so shoorrrttt, even in the winter, lemonade is great</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 20:07:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>808</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24071782</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/HollowLies/pseuds/AnElvenCatNamedJuice</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry is a little shit with bad planning. Getting him into a small (ok maybe not so small) mess. Luckily Tom Riddle knows how to improvise with his impossibly rash lover.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Harry Potter/Tom Riddle</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>99</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Coffin Cramps</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Pinterest Prompt</p><p> </p><p>The tall figure looked around at the few dozen people roaming around the dark hollow room. His eyes landed on the pure black coffin. Oblivious to others, he raised his eyebrows in amusement at the sight. Soon his attention was drawn from Harry Potter’s coffin to the people morosely walking around, sharing their sorrows. Everyone seemed to go up to the coffin at least once murmuring their thanks and sadness to the coffin.</p><p>Tom Riddle did no such thing. Instead he casually strutted to the coffin knowingly. Though as soon as one of the many red heads started walking over, he changed his gait. He forced his head down, hiding a small smirk that seemed to spread against his will. The young redhead, a weasley, the man remembered, seemed to believe his faux sadness and luckily didn’t catch onto his humour about Potter’s coffin. That would’ve been annoyingly hard to explain or cover up. The boy sniffed and looked up.</p><p>“He was such a great friend, ya know…”</p><p>The weasley trailed off and looked at the other beside the coffin. He then continued.</p><p>“We went to Hogwarts together. And… and when that bloody psychopath broke into school Harry took him down. Saved us all…”</p><p>The man next to Weasley hummed in agreement before turning. “May I have a moment alone with him” Riddle pushed sadness and longing into his voice.</p><p>“Of..of course” the weasley sniffed before going back towards everyone else, where they started to gather in another room.</p><p>Tom then leaned down with an easy grace that most couldn’t muster up even in front of royalty. His face was close to the coffin as he whispered with a small sliver of a smirk.</p><p>“Now listen, I know your not dead”</p><p>The reply was instant “Yeah, no shit, Tom”</p><p>Tom’s smirk was now fully spread. “Need help? Everyone’s almost gone” He drawled. In response Harry hit the coffin from the inside and Tom casually opened it just as the last person entered the next room.</p><p>Tom held out his hand to help Harry out of the small container. The moment Harry was out he was dragged closer towards the taller man. Tom leaned in, looked Harry straight in the eyes and announced, “That… was the most erratic plan you’ve come up with since the thestrals. You’re going to get yourself killed, dear. With me along as well” He huffed before pulling them towards a small side room and casting the assortment of privacy spells.</p><p>“I missed you.” he whined pointedly at Harry. Harry laughed openly as the other dragged them together. The moment didn’t last long because after a mere second Harry winced.</p><p>“God, cramps I think” he explained, trying to shake his leg. Tom just laughed at his discomfort. Harry sat down with his legs splattered out in an array.</p><p>“Serves you right for that god awful plan with that coffin” He retorted to his shorter companion. Harry grumbled incoherently before pulling Tom down to the floor of the small room. He leaned closer, smirking as he pressed Tom’s lips against his own. Tom pushed forward right as a knock came upon the door. Harry just sighed and slowly got up favouring the leg that was not currently aching in pain. Tom slid up with his usual annoying grace. They looked towards each other then around the room. Noticing no windows and the singular door in front of them.</p><p>“How do we explain this? Can we just appar-,” Harry got cut off quickly.</p><p>“Anti-Apparation wards. No access except the Apparation Room”</p><p>“Umm… ok do you have-,”</p><p>“No portkey” Tom sighed.</p><p>“Well then how are going to explain this?! Don’t you usually have secondary plans? Or just a whole list of plans in general?” Harry whined.</p><p>Tom just looked at him with mischievous glint in his eyes. He took Harry’s wrist and dragged him over to the wall right next to the door.</p><p>“Come in!” He called cheerfully in his spot, and renounced all the privacy spells.</p><p>The person in turn went through the door with brown bushy hair. She stood a meter or so in front of the door before not noticing anyone in front of her. She looked around confused, before turning back towards the door. Her eyes landing on Harry and Tom standing next to the said door. She stuttered with her words.</p><p>“Har-..oh my… god- how?!”</p><p>In return Harry beamed, “Hi Hermione,” he exclaimed before being pulled out of the small room. Tom announced a quick sardonic bye before running with Harry towards the apparition room. The people around them were too startled to even move, all thinking Harry Potter to be dead. All they heard was a crack as the lovers apparated away laughing!</p><p>“What the fuck!” Could be heard from the youngest weasley son as he eloquently announced.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Please give feedback! No mean comments, suggestions and constructive criticism always allowed! This is my first writing I want to try my hand at more before moving onto bigger stories! If you want me to make an give a more intricate plot head down to the comments idk. Still new to all of this. Thanks for reading! </p><p>-Juice (AECNJ)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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